Today's my angel's 3rd birthday. But it's a blessed day. I dropped off the kids at school, then went to the store and picked out a pretty autumn bouquet of flowers and a butterfly balloon, then spent some time talking with him at his gravesite. I never feel him there, though. I feel him when I see other kids that are around the age he would have been, or when I see a newborn baby, or hear of another pregnancy. I see him in my son's smile and my daughter's eyes. I feel him on a calm autumn day, or when the world is silent around me. I don't think of him often, but every now and then he enters my thoughts as if to let me know he's there and is ok and happy. And he now makes me smile. He isn't at that gravesite, he's in the air, the trees, the flowers. He's in Heaven, in the arms of Jesus, and wants for nothing. He is safe, healthy, and happier than I could ever imagine.
Happy birthday Connor, my autumn angel. I love you and will see you again one day.