Creating tomorrow from today

Can I just say, I love my job! How many people get to say that? I really hope when I am fullforce, I will still be saying that. I am currently training under my dad in the real estate appraisal business. For a while there, business was slow. My dad's been freaking out, and my paychecks have been mere pennies, but I found it to be a great time to learn the basics at a decent pace and not get overwhelmed. Now, things are slowly picking up, and I have more work on my desk. It feels so gratifying to be able to give significant help to my dad, and also feel like I am doing a substantial amount of work on each appraisal I am responsible for. When I have done an appraisal, and my dad only has to make minor changes to it, I feel SMART and WORTHWHILE. And there is nothing like having work during the day vs. not working to make the day pass faster and make you feel better about yourself.

In one to two years, I will be a fully licensed appraiser. I can't help dreaming of all the things I will be able to accomplish with the kind of paycheck a job like this can bring. All my debts will be paid. I can own my own car, maybe even my own house or condo. I can afford to buy nicer clothes. I can have a substantial savings. I can pay for my daughter's braces. I won't have to tell my kids we "don't have the money for that". I can invest. I can forget about living week to week. And most importantly, I won't have to depend on anyone else for financial reasons.

Financial freedom means many different things to me, but mostly it means independance. I do not feel like I can be in a relationship with someone that is marriage headed until I have all my finances and debts in order. When I am finally at the place for marriage again, I want to be financially independant, so that there are no confused lines. I want to still make my own money and care for my own family, without feeling like I need to depend on someone else. And even before I get to that level, I want to have lived in my very own place, something I have never done. I've always been a dependant, whether it's with my family or with my husband. I have never experienced life as a full on independant. And just knowing that I have a future that includes that is really exciting!

In the meantime, I do not knock my position. Of course, I long for the future now, but tomorrow does not happen without today. To have a successful future, I must live with my parents now to properly train at a low wage, get strong on the inside, and get reconnected with my family bonds and friendships. I must be a dependant now so that I can feel safe, pay off my debts, and prepare for my future. And I am eternally grateful to my parents for giving me this second chance to make something of myself.