I totally hate that I did share that much in wide open space. It's one thing if I was totally faceless and nameless. But friends are reading here, and my picture and name exists right here next to my dirty laundry. And it's so easy to make a decision as big as this now, when I really have no choice anyway, but what about when I've met someone and things get serious? I really don't know how I'll deal then, will I be able to stick to my guns? Will I want to?
As for those of you reading this that know me, I am not going to mention this outside of my blog. I'm a little bit embarassed. On Saturday I was just totally convicted, and knew I needed to write it out to keep the plan in motion. But unlike other blogs I've had where I've been able to spill my guts, this one is more revealing for the above reasons. So I spilled my guts here in my regular "in your face" fashion, but didn't think of how I'd feel when people I'm still getting to know would read about my most private life dealings. So my face is a little red right now. At this moment I wish I were faceless again!
Anyway, today is Valentine's Day. And I do love this Hallmark holiday. I've been pretty good natured about the fact that I don't have a romantic valentine (though it still kind of sucks!). The new guy "just isn't interested". He never said so, but I've read the book.... That's ok, it gives me the perfect chance to hold off on any kind of relationship and finally be at the point where I am ok with being single. I finally realize that everything I've been told about enjoying being single, and focusing on myself right now is true. I'm just not in as big of a hurry to move on as I was before, as my needs have changed. Before it was like I was in competion with my ex, now I could care less. I'm actually better off than his current situation, anyways!
But as far as valentines, I do have my kids! I got them some little treats and made them each a valentine card. I bought myself some daffodils from Trader Joes, and they just opened up completely today. Nothing can bring some sunshine to your morning like a bunch of big yellow blossoms! Summer has the day off school today, so we hung out at Aroma's this morning and totally pigged out! I had their famous breakfast burrito, she had a massive blueberry muffin. And of course our hot drinks. Then we went shopping and had lunch with my parents at Checkers. Now, I'm supposed to be working, but I thought I'd take a break before work. Hard life, I know! I'm just so full, my diet has been completely sabotaged! And it's taking all I have to not just curl up and take a nap. This is the downfalls of having a home office. There are times when it is just too hard to get serious!
Anyway, I'm going to sign off and go put my head back in the sand.... Oh yeah, and work!
God bless!
2 comments:
You touch on one of the strange and wonderful things about the internet. It is at once a place of seeming anonimity...and yet we feel an almost magnetic rush to open up to complete strangers. I'm not sure I understand it at all, but I recognize and revel in it myself.
I am SOOOOO addicted to the internet for all sorts of reasons. First, I LOVE the technology. Secondly, there seems to be no end to what one can do here; what is available...well, hell, look...YOU are working from home! And then there is the absolute ease of personal/inter-personal communication. I tell you, I can't get enough of it.
Blogs are an especially interesting phenomenon. I have long felt that those who kept journals or diarys (diaries?) did so with the (hidden?) thought that just maybe someone else would read it. A blog is a utility that allows the blogger to remain nearly anonymous...while being published so that ANYONE anywhere in the world with a computer can read it. At once completely private...yet completely public. I love it.
I myself am just begining to develop a blog of limericks...I LOVE limericks...and I am finding out that what I really enjoy is having a place to write them and laugh at myself cuz I'm such a dumbass...with none of the bulkiness and messiness of doing something like this on paper...and then maybe someone else will read them, like 'em, and contribute their own. Ain't technology wonderful? Limerick Lips.
http://limericklips.blogspot.com/
And, Crissi, though you didn't really ask for any advice or encouragement, since YOU published this on the net for the entire world to see, I will take that as an invitation to stick my nose in again...ahem...Have you really weighed the pros and cons of an active sex life? I mean, have you made a list...good stuff about excitement and orgasms on the left, bad stuff about it on the right? Or did you just react to something negative without thinking it thru as well as you might have?
Personally, I find it VERY uncomfortable and not at all satisfying not having the romance and the "rush" in my life. What is better than foreplay, especially the emotional kind that one can experience only in a romance? There is nothing better in life than being able to excite and satisfy someone else.
There once was a girl quite fine,
Who put a cage around her behind,
She said no to sex,
Even though it did vex,
And now her frustration's sublime.
Not only that...but I LOVE blueberry muffins.
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