Beach Day

Today we left the sunshine of our town and went to the fog covered beach. Regardless of the cold, it was a ton of fun. My daughter spent the day with one of her bast friends, and we all had a blast. I even got the stunt kite up with the great wind that was blowing there. Here are some pictures from our day....

Hope

I actually forgot
what yesterday was
until last night
when I was covered in fog.
And it brought me back
to how things change,
how prayers are answered
in unexpected ways.
And I remembered thinking
that life would never be the same,
and I was right
in more ways than one.
And I remember the fear
that I felt of the past
and the events that led
to new fears of my present
and eventually led
to the fall of the future.

Or so I thought.

Truth is,
things happen for a reason.
And the person of yesterday
is much younger
than the person of today.
And I find that I'm calmer
in the hopes for my future,
understanding
that I am a part of something
bigger than just me.
And though I am unsure
at times
of where I am going
I know I am not going down.
And I am standing here
one year later
with hope in my soul
and gratefulness in my spirit
and love in my heart
and serenity in my mind.
And I know,
I just know,
that everything is going to be fine.

Yeshua

Breathe in.
I feel the breath.
I hear it.
Breathe out.
Relief.
Every sound, it is one in my ears.
But it is many different things
making each sound.
The chirping of the crickets.
The frogs in the distance.
The roar of the cars on the highway.
Many different sounds,
one in my ear.
The things I see,
they are all combined in my eye.
The stars overhead.
The perfect lines of the clouds
drifting on an invisible wind.
The way the hills seem to be outlined
by an unreal glow that dips with each dip,
and rises with each rise.
The plane that flies overhead,
narrowly missing another plane on a different course
several miles away from each other,
but in the same spot in my sight.
All seperate things,
all unaware of the other,
but all one sight in my eyes.
The two become one.
The many become few.
All is seperate,
yet all is the same.
And when I breathe in,
I feel you.
For you are in it all.
When I breathe out,
you are there in my breath.
I don't need to see you,
not like I see the things of this world.
For you are in the world,
you are of the world,
you are the world.
And you are more.
To expect to see you
standing before me
would be to deny that you already are,
just not as my human mind perceives.
You are in it all.
And I am just one that make up many
that makes up one.
I am a part of you.

Timber!

A picture of the lumber that was taken out of my eye.
You should see the one still in there...

Jesus said, "You see the sliver in your friend's eye, but you don't see the timber in your own eye. When you take the timber out of your own eye, then you will see well enough to remove the sliver from your friend's eye."
Gospel of Thomas, vs. 26

Yet another reminder to ME. Stop focusing on all that I disagree with, and continue working on my path. The only path I am responsible for maintaining is my own, not anyone elses's.

In a way, isn't that a relief?

Green What?

So in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I made green eggs, toast with green honey butter, green milk, and, um, brown veggie sausage. I'm not Irish, but my kids are, so I surprised them with breakfast.





They ate most of it, but I think they were a little grossed out. Mission accomplished!


Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Death Through Adam, Life Through Christ

This morning I read Romans 3-5. I took particular interest in Romans 5:12-21, "Death through Adam, Life through Christ". And this is what I wanted to journal on. I will try to behave myself as much as possible!

Romans 5:18-19
"Just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man will be made righteous."



This passage is of course talking about the fall of man through Adam, and the salvation of man through Jesus. When Adam sinned in the garden, taking the fruit from Eve from the only tree God forbade them to eat from, sin entered the life of man. The Garden of Eden closed forever for man. The only way sin could be forgiven was by offering a sacrifice to God, usually a perfect lamb with no blemish or scars. I can imagine in those days that lambs may have become scarce. Think of how often we sin, from an action to a mere thought. Because of our sinful nature, it is impossible to not sin. If we needed to sacrifice for every infraction we committed, first of all we would be more aware (which isn't really a bad thing, when you think about it....), but we would surely miss out on some sins we overlooked, and would never get in the kingdom of Heaven.

Enter Jesus. Here was a man that God gave to us as our sacrificial lamb. He was not only our perfect lamb, he was our example of how our walk should look. The sacrifice of Jesus was so great that it became unnecessary to need to sacrifice any longer for our sins. Jesus' death the sacrifice for all sins that have ever been committed, and all future sins as well. Jesus died for all of us so that we will all join God in Heaven.

But see, this is where things get confusing. There are a lot of scripture in the bible that read one cannot be saved without belief in Jesus. But then scattered sparingly through the bible are scriptures like this, everyone is saved through Jesus. The many were made sinners through Adam. Not just a select few of us either. The many of us can safely be assumed to mean all of us, for who of any of us is without sin? And if it is clear that the many of us means everyone when it comes to who was affected by Adam's sin, it seems like it should be clear that the many of us means everyone when it comes to who is made righteous through the sacrifice of Jesus.

And it makes sense. If the fall of Adam led to the sinful nature of everyone, wouldn't the death of Jesus, God's son, have even more power to save all of us? Why would he sacrifice himself for only a select people when the sin of Adam affected EVERYONE? And beyond that, if sin is a sin, none better and none worse, and if disbelief in Jesus is considered a sin, how is that worse than any of my sins? How will one's sin of disbelief damn them any more than any of my sins? What makes me more deserving of the kingdom of heaven than someone who doesn't believe things the way I do?

These are just thought probing questions, I am not giving answers here. Coming across these passages really isn't ammo for some new war against religion. I cannot take these verses and disregard the rest of the bible. But I also cannot take the rest of the bible and disregard these verses. But reading these verses gives me hope. It is true that I hold reservations about religion in general, for every religion claims that they are the only true religion, that they are the only ones who know the truth, and everyone else is screwed. I don't think I'll ever believe that any one religion is absolutely correct, including Christianity. Religions are not God. God is God. And we will never know the whole entire truth until we are in the kingdom of Heaven. However, I do believe Christianity has a good hold on the truth. I wouldn't consider myself a Christian if I didn't. But I do think we can learn from other faiths to strengthen our own. We are all one people under God, on different paths that lead to God, and I would like to think that if we could open our eyes to wisdom in all corners of the earth, it might get us even closer to God than we ever thought possible.

Lord, I thank you for providing us a way to get to you through Jesus. I even thank you that we have a choice now in how we live our lives and how we accept you through the sin of Adam, for it makes that choice so much sweeter, and the journey that much more wondrous. And even more wondrous, you have chosen me whether I am faithful or not. Lord, I cannot even find words to describe how wonderful that feels, and how grateful I am for you in my life.
Lord, please guide me in this journey to you. It has been my desire, even in times I stopped walking and stood still, to know the truth of you in this world. I truly believe you are in many things that are foreign to me, as well as the things that are familiar to me. But I admit to having a hard time seeking your wisdom without also drowning in lies and doubts over you.
Lord, I ask you to protect my soul as I travel through the fires to reach you. I want my life to radiate as much of you as possible before I join you in the next life. But to do that, I know I need your guidance. And my faith must be strong. Please be my shield.
Amen.

Reflections

I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately. It kind of goes along with the territory of ceasing to depend on things outside myself for my own self worth. It's been a hard process to go through, and I'm struggling in every single step.

I figured that the best place for me would be to open up my bible. I woke up with a start from a dream very early this morning. I can't remember the dream, but I felt God telling me that I was supposed to get up.

I can't explain why God talks to me. I don't feel I've done anything extraordinary in being faithful to Him. But it seems like whenever I welcome Him in, He arrives full force. We have full on conversations, God and I.

Anyway, I obediently got up, dusted off my bible, and went in the front room to read. With a great cup of coffee, I settled into the comfy chair. Where to start? I thumbed through it, taking out the millions of leaflets from my days of church, reading this passage and that which I had taken notes on. And I finally decided to follow a friend of mine and start in Romans.

I like Romans. It's straight forward and tells it like it is. There's no beating around the bush. My favorite verses are in Romans, Romans 14. So I started here. I began with Romans 1. Then I read through Romans 2. But something was clicking in Romans 2. I kept stopping myself and rereading passages. And I realized that I needed to start journaling to go along with reading, so I got out my notebook and wrote down this verse:

(Romans 2:3-4)
"So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance, and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you towards repentance?"

Whoa.

I have been guilty of finding passages and using them to my power, to strengthen my fight against fundamentalism. I have pointed fingers, judging those I felt were judging others. And then in all this, in my fight to be right and against all that I felt unjust in religion, I stopped seeking God. And even worse, I made myself believe I was still just as faith seeking as ever. In reality, I was self-seeking, and self-serving. I was no longer a disciple of God. I no longer sought to strengthen my faith and overcome my shortcomings. The only studying I did of the bible was to find passages to prove what I thought was right.

In all this, though I thought I was close to God, I actually stepped farther away from my faith than I ever had before, and began questioning the very things I used to be sure of. I ignored all the warning signs, negatively focusing on everything I felt was wrong, and missing all in my faith that is right. And I find myself in a scary spot, rebuilding my foundation in God.

The last line of those selected verses is where the hope lies. God's kindness will lead me to repentance. You see, we are never truly apart from God. He is always with us. And He always WANTS us. And when we accept that, He is always there with open arms, ready to forgive. God does not hold grudges, no matter how many times we fail Him. And I have failed Him. If I truly want the world to believe the truth that I feel, it is my walk that will speak the loudest. And right now, my walk is pretty weak and without substance.

Now is the process of restoring my faith from small to overwhelming. I am trying to relearn how to be close to God, wanting the same things He wants for my life. It's not easy. In fact, it's pretty painful. But I am willing to go through the necessary steps to get back to God, seeking His guidance in living for His glory, and not my own.

Child in Faith

I vow to trust You, to depend on You. No longer will I be disappointed by the failings of man living up to MY expectations, for You are perfect and provide me with everything I need. You know all my innermost secrets and desires, and love me as I am. I do not need to shout out the contents of my soul, for YOU know. And that is all that matters. All I'm waiting on, all I'm anxious to happen, it's already here with You. All I pray for every single night when the world has gone to sleep, You are giving to me just by hearing me. There is nothing of this world that will give me more satisfaction than being Your child. I am exhausting myself needlessly, and I'm sorry it has taken this long to see Your unfailing love for me. I am sorry I ever put other idols in front of You, and I'm sorry I ever doubted Your power so much that I trusted everything more than You, including myself. I am done, I have come to my senses, and I thank You for accepting me, time and time again, even when I fail You. May I always be a child in faith, for no matter how much I fight it, I will always be Your child.

The Dance

Two people stood at the entrance to the hall leading to the bathroom, seemingly guarding the entrance on either side. Their bodies were covered in tattoos, their hair in a fashion that could only be described as punk. But their faces held the expressions of someone you would want to meet, full of joy and happiness, and of someone who would surely accept anyone from all walks of life. And they smiled at me as they continued talking in an excited fashion. But they did not use their lips or their voices, they used their hands. The only sound was the clanking of glasses, the music at a low hum, the hiss from the espresso machine. But a bubble was present around them, their meaning expressed through excited gestures, an occasional laugh escaping from their smiling mouths. And all noises seemed to disappear as their conversation seemed to be the loudest one in the room. I ducked underneath the conversation to wait outside the occupied restroom. And I tried not to be obvious in my interest of their dancing fingers, the rapid movements in their hands in the language that was a mystery to me. I watched out of the corner of my eye, trying to appear fascinated by the bulletins on the wall, but really I was fascinated by the grace they possessed. And as the woman in the restroom came out, our eyes caught and we smiled, and it was almost like we both knew that silence was necessary, not wanting to break the magic spell these two beautiful creatures had over anyone who happened to be witness to their exchange.

...

A friend once wrote of her experience at a party, where she was the only person that could hear the deafening music, the rest of the guests only able to feel the bouncing rhythm that shook the whole room. The cops finally came and told the guests that they would have to turn down the music. And the room no longer shook, the guests unable to dance for they could no longer "hear" the music. Confused hands moved in a fury of motion as the situation was explained to those who couldn't understand the sudden change. And the birthday girl stood up, an interpreter beside her to communicate what she was signing.

"I can't hear the music...I can feel the music....so can everyone stand up and close their eyes and feel their heart beats...and dance to your heart beat......"

And my friend was moved in awe as the silent party continued to dance with no sound whatsoever, but all in a movement that blended as one, and was reminded again of the wonderful connection we all share as many different people combined as one.

...

When I left the restroom, the couple was gone. But a second couple waited at a table with their son. They, too, were decorated in tattoos. Their son, no older than 4, sported a punkish mohawk and an innocent face. And they too knew this foreign language, their young son contributing to the conversation in a delicate movement of his hands. And I wanted to cry at the beauty of it all, wishing in that moment I could take away my gift of sound to join their beautiful world of dancing hands and silent laughter.

The Anchor

For the last several weeks, my son has been extra clingy. It's been kind of nice, actually, as he has been content in just being at my side, or in my lap, or holding my hand, or interrupting whatever he is doing to come up and give me a really big hug. And I've been happy to comply. But I also wonder about what's going on inside of him that is making him so needy for me.

I've been working a lot lately. For the past three months I have been working full time at my job in a temporary position. Thankfully I move back to part time this next week, and I get Mondays off of work, giving me a three day weekend (yay!). But all Lucas has known is that I am gone almost the whole week, and it has been that way since September. His interaction with me is in the morning getting ready for school, and for three hours before bedtime. It has finally reached a head for him, and now when I am home, it is like he is soaking up lost time as furiously as he can. It also seems like he's afraid of losing me. It seems that the poor little guy has gone through so many changes in his young life, that he is afraid that if he doesn't hold onto me for dear life, I might leave too.

I have been taking this time just listening to him, and he has been opening up to me. He's gotten out some pretty hard feelings that he cried about having. But I could sense the relief in him for getting these difficult feelings out, ones I know he has been conflicted in having, and I can see his healing process take place. He is finally opening up to me about things he thought I'd hate him for. I have just held him, rocked his little body, and told him I could never hate my favorite little boy in the whole world, and that I was so proud of him for understanding his feelings and being honest about them.

He's been really emotional lately, crying at the drop of a hat over lots of things that would normally not even touch him. My role has been to be strong for him, to be the anchor he can hold onto while he misses certain parts of his life that are no longer, that he has had to become older than his 6 years to overcome.



In essence, isn't this the role God has with us? As I have been going through my own life changes, and as I have been strong for my son, I have my own questions and feelings that would have been hard to go through on my own without an anchor. I have prayed plenty, and have felt times when God held my own body in the folds of his warmth, slowly rocking it as I cried into the robes of his breath. And in sadness, I realize he's been there all the time, through all the changes I have gone through, and through the changes I am still going through.

Aren't we fortunate to have a God who knows us, who cares about us, who will never abandon us in our time of need, even when we push him aside? Aren't we fortunate to be able to be held and rocked in those times of turmoil, when we feel like the world is pushing us away, wanting nothing more to do with us?

In Buddhism they call this feeling enlightenment and Nirvana. In Christianity, they call it mysticism.

It is the feeling of God overcoming us, passing through us, proving his existance with the very presence of Him. It's the benefit of having a personal relationship with God, and one he does not fail in giving to us. It's what Jacob experienced when he saw God open up the Heavens. It's what Frances of Assissi experienced when he embraced a leper and felt God's undeniable presence,and understood his role in life serving God. It's what Mother Theresa embraced in sharing God's word without words to convince, but clear as day through her life of catering to the poor and forgotten. It's what caused Moses to lead his people from slavery and oppression, and what changed Moses' hair from dark to white upon seeing the face of God on the mountain. It's what Abraham felt as he heard God, despite living in a land where strange Gods were worshipped, and what caused Abraham to become the father of the nations. Mysticism is what Jesus experienced in His life, and what he gave back through teaching in love, and by fulfilling the ultimate act of sacrifice so that one day we would be able to experience God face to face.

It's what I have gone through in those times I have tuned out the distractions of this world and focused on God. It's the feeling He washes over me, the warm feeling that radiates through my whole being as I feel Him take over my whole body, leaving no part untouched. It's when the whole world just disappears and all I know is Him, for in that moment He is all I feel and all I hear. It is when he reassures me that He will always be my anchor, should I accept that.



This is the example I wish to give to my son in his time of need, that even though life is moving in a tornado of hurt and abandonment, confusion and disappointment, I am here, his anchor, never changing and always loving. And it is my hope that one day, when he grows too old to climb in my lap and seek comfort, he can take this relationship I have had with him and transfer it to God. It is my hope that my example will be understood by him as the love God has for us as His children, and that this love will never, ever disappear, just as my love for him will never disappear.

Go fly a Kite.....

Nothing like flying a kite on a wonderful January day at the beach.... Spent today with the kids at our freezing and windy beach with our new stunt kite, and we had the time of our lives! We ended it with a warm dinner at a local restaurant, reminiscing over our day, and laughing and enjoying each other's presence. It's days like these that our little family of three seems absolutely perfect.... We're not broken, we're fixed!

Farewell to a Great Year

Visiting Danielle's blog today, I was inspired by her list of 2006 blessings. The beginning of the year for me is usually the time when I breathe a sigh of relief at the chance to start over and make new plans for how the year will be. But it is also a time when I look back over the year and think about how it turned out.

This past year I was especially blessed. I remember that at the end of 2005, I just knew that 2006 would be a special year. I knew it would be different from the rest. And I was most definitely right! 2006 has proved to be my turning point, the year I transformed, changed, grew. It was the year I lost the sorrowful divorced girl, the one who depended on the wisdom of others and who didn't seem to have a voice. In her place I found the confident woman that was always inside me, the one with her own wisdom, with the strength to make her own life.



2006 was the year that I gave up my divorced identity, letting go of the misconception that being divorced was a sad reality, and somehow made me less. It was the year that I realized that I am my own person, not identified by who I was once married to. It was the year I let go of my sufferings, realizing that they didn't create me. It was the year that I stopped lamenting, and started living....for my life!



2006 was the year that I found out what being a devoted mother looks like. Yeah, I've been a mother for almost 9 years now. I've been a single mother for 3. But this year I realized that sometimes we must make huge sacrifices and give up our own comfort to allow our children the best world possible. Sometimes we must give up some things, and some people, for our family's well being. And when life gets hard, you just work harder.



2006 was the year that I realized that I need friends and family. I could not have made it through the trials of this year without my devoted family and my true friends. Sometimes I was given valuable advice. Sometimes I was given a willing ear. Sometimes I was given a shoulder to cry on. I learned to receive, as well as to give. I learned that sometimes we need to be supported so we can be strong.



2006 was the year I sound the courage to work outside of the home. In 2004 I began working with my father in an amazing job that allowed me to make an income while still being home with my kids. This last year, circumstances "forced" me into seeking a different job. I landed the very first job I tried for, at my dream location, the newspaper! It was a place I always wanted to work. And when I got the job, my fears were overwhelming. But I soon realized that it was possible, I could actually be successful in a job, and my kids would survive the transition. It's been rocky, hard at times, and absolutely wonderful! Working with my father gave me the confidence I had lost for awhile, and allowed me the strength to actually survive the fast paced and demanding job that I have now. And not only that, having this job gives me the sight to see the possibilities I have for the future. And that excites me most of all.



In 2006 I found God, over and over again, every single day. I saw Him in the big things, and I saw Him in the little things. I saw Him in ways I had overlooked Him. I saw that God answers prayers in His own way, in His timing, and in ways much better than my own. I found God's wisdom in my own religion, and I found God's wisdom in other religions. And I realized that my identity as a Christian never lessened in the process, I daresay it was strengthened. There were times when my questioning even troubled myself, but when it all fell together, I found God waiting for me in the end. I learned that finding God is all in the journey, and the journey never ends.

As I look back at 2006, I see a transformation that I am proud of. And it makes me confident that 2007 holds even more in store for me. I am excited about this new year, not as an escape from the previous year, but as a continuance of a truly magical year.



Happy New Year to all my friends! May your new year hold magic for you too!

2007

New year.
New start.
Changes
     to be made
          to be decided
               to follow through.

And that can be scary...
               ...and exciting.



Will I like it?
Will I be accepted?
Is it everything I want it to be?

Most important,
Can a single mother
          with a not so elegant past
find her place amongst these strangers?

And will I be equal
          and not place myself beneath them?
And will I allow my soul
     to shine
          rather than hiding it in fear
               as has been my habit for years?



Only time will tell.
And this is the time to do it.
I will make the change.
I will let my soul sing.
And I will no longer hide
          or apologize
For a faith that I know is right.

What kind of Christian are you?

Just for fun, I took one of those online quizes. Here's what I came up with....

You scored as Classical Liberal. You are a classical liberal. You are sceptical about much of the historicity of the Bible, and the most important thing Jesus has done is to set us a good moral example that we are to follow. Doctrines like the trinity and the incarnation are speculative and not really important, and in the face of science and philosophy the surest way we can be certain about God is by our inner awareness of him. Discipleship is expressed by good moral behaviour, but inward religious feeling is most important. Classical Liberal 93% Emergent/Postmodern 82% Modern Liberal 68% Neo orthodox 64% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 61% Charismatic/Pentecostal 54% Reformed Evangelical 36% Roman Catholic 32% Fundamentalist 0% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

Christmas

The Trials of Being a Parent

Last night I had to get some last minute Christmas gifts for my kids' teacher aides. So naturally, I went to where all last minute gifts can be found: the local Starbucks. I shopped the displays until I found the most perfect packages of chocolate covered graham crackers, and the most sparkling gift card I could find. I paid for my purchases, and headed back to my car. A commotion to my right diverted my attention away from my destination, and I turned to look. A woman was screaming at someone in her minivan. From the way it sounded, I thought at first it was a homeless woman yelling at her mate, both completely drunk. The brake lights were flashing, obviously from whoever sat in the driver's seat that was teasing the screaming woman. Upon closer inspection, though, it became painfully obvious what was really going on.

This was another case of a frazzled mom right before the holidays.

A boy of about 9 sat in her seat in the van, pushing her buttons, along with all the buttons in the van. She stood there screaming at him to get in his seat while he either ignored her or screamed back. Nothing was getting accomplished, I could feel the tension coming over myself as I'm sure she was consumed by it.

I tell you, though I haven't been in this identical situation, I definitely have a defiant child, and have done the crazy mom routine. I have screamed, punished, spanked, timed out for eternity, screamed some more, and caused my head to spin round and round like the excorcist. Well, needless to say, all that resulted in more defiance, and more stress on me. And extreme dislike for my son, who obviously was the one with the problem!

Troubles with my son finally came to a head and I had no choice but to take him back to the counselor we've been seeing for a little while. I had a whole list made out of problems I wanted fixed in him. And I had definite expectations about how the counseling session would be, my validation being first and foremost. Imagine my surprise when the counselor took me in the room by myself, and told me what things I needed to change in myself. What? But he's the one with the problem! Not me!



Well, this is still a work in progress, and one that I am still developing as my second nature, but the screaming and out of control behavior in ME has subsided. In its place is a quiet and calm voice and demeanor, a hug or a hand on the back, a validation for HIS feelings, and awareness that he is only 5 (and in some ways even younger), and needs the chance to learn certain skills in good behavior before he can master them and abide naturally by them. Consequences are given calmly with love, with the promise that when he decides to change his behavior, he can cease the consequence himself. As a result, my son is less defiant, and more willing to crumple into me for comfort when he is royally frustrated. I am less stressed, and remembered that I actually DO love my son with every fiber of my being. Of course, I do still slip up in this process, and so does he. But it's much better than it was before.

When I saw that woman screaming at her child, and her child screaming back at her, my first desire was to give that woman a big hug. Obviously she was burnt out. And then I wanted to tell her to start over, hug her son, and calmly tell him to please get in his seat, and that when they got home, maybe he could help her make dinner, if he wanted to. I could tell she wasn't a bad mom, just a mom without the right tools to get her son to abide. Instead, I said a quick prayer and got in my car. Unsolicited advice is sometimes worse than the right advice, and it wasn't my place, and I wasn't asked for my opinion on the situation. Instead I am writing down my unsolicited advice here in my own space.

Love your child. Forget spanking. Forget yelling. Forget threats, especially the empty ones. Your child knows you won't follow through. Be the example you want them to follow, and you will have a happy family and a home filled with love!



10 Steps to Positive Parenting

· Show love and affection.
· When necessary, take time to cool down.
· Compliment your child.
· Set basic rules and limits.
· Develop a set of shared meanings, values, and goals.
· Introduce your child to books.
· Listen and talk to your child.
· Be the kind of person you want your child to be.
· Offer guidance.
· Tell your child “I love you” each and every day.

10 Steps to Teach a Child Discipline

· Teach and model self-control by your example.
· Set routine for bedtime, meals, and chores.
· Explain reasons for your rules.
· Let your child help make rules.
· Let your child help decide consequences for broken rules.
· Try to understand your child’s feelings.
· If your child breaks a rule, control your anger.
· If you lash out, apologize.
· Compliment your child often.
· Tell your child “I love you” each and every day.

10 Steps to Cool Down

· Take a deep breath. And another. Then remember you are the adult.
· Close your eyes and imagine you’re hearing what your child is about to hear.
· Press your lips together and count to ten. Or better yet, to 20.
· Exercise to release tension.
· Phone a friend.
· If someone can watch your child, go outside and take a walk.
· Take a hot bath or splash cold water on your face.
· Turn on some music, maybe even sing along.
· Drink a glass of cold water.
· Tell you child “I love you” each and every day.

Found at The Parent Center.

Giving

This morning I was early for work, for a change. So I decided to celebrate by stopping in at my favorite Starbucks to get a hot cup of coffee to warm me on such a brisk morning. And once inside, I also caught sight of their new morning sandwiches. Having skipped making my lunch that morning, those sandwiches with their millions of calories made my mouth water. I stood in line for a little more than 5 minutes, and must have changed my mind about them at least 20 times. Once at the front, I decided that, yes, I wanted one, even if it just sat at my desk until I was a little hungrier.

The walk to work in the morning is about a block from the company parking lot, and a cold one at that this time of year. Most cars still carry the telltale signs of frost being furiously scraped off the windows, and give the appearance of just being snowed on (though snow here is an anomaly…..). And the coffee never tasted so good against the brisk cold. On the walk to work, I passed by a doorway with a homeless man sleeping, completely covered from head to toe in a tattered and dirty blanket, thin at that. And I thought to myself how awful that he had to endure that kind of cold through the whole night. And I kept walking. But my pace slowed as I thought of my hot sandwich tucked under my arm. I must have taken at least three more steps forward when I realized my duty and turned around. I walked back to the sleeping man, and without disturbing him, I placed it next to the empty to-go container that already lay on his “luggage”. And then I turned around and walked the rest of the way to work. My face was a bit flushed walking by the workmen that surrounded the area, and I avoided their gaze, actually hoping they DIDN’T see me.

Once inside the doors, I don’t think I thought about the sleeping man or the hot sandwich I had left with him again, as work can take over one’s thoughts once immersed.

I got out a bit early today to take my son to his counseling appointment, and passed the same spot that the man had been sleeping. Of course he was gone. As was his luggage, his blankets, and his empty to-go container. All that remained was the napkins that I had laid under the sandwich…..and the unopened sandwich itself. The seal on the sandwich wasn’t even broken, and it laid in it’s perfect packaging as if placed their deliberately. The message in its abandonment was clear: charity was not favorably accepted by this man.

Now there are several conclusions I can draw from this. One is the lesson that pride and ego can be stronger than necessity. That is true in all our lives. Now that I’ve said that, I’ll say no more on that, for saying more would result in my expectance that if I give, I should receive something for it.

And that brings me to what exactly came to my mind upon leaving that unopened sandwich just as it lay….Giving should be just that. Giving. If it is received thankfully, great. If it is taken greedily, fine. But sometimes our gifts are refused, and that’s ok too. For when we give anything to someone else, we are honoring God. It does not matter what we are giving, as long as it is done with a humble heart and no expectations. For then it is given in love, and given without conditions at that. And that kind of giving, the kind that is given freely without expectations, is showing love. And that is what giving is all about.

Tired

I hear you so softly in the wind.
Please speak louder,
I'm begging you.
I need your strength
  your wisdom
   your beauty and solace.
I need your friendship,
to know that you are here for me
     as I move.
You are too far away.
You are too far away.
You are too far away.
     Please move closer.
Those whispers on the wind,
Place them in my ear.
Because I could sure use some wisdom right now.
I could sure use your shoulder to lean on.
And sometimes I am so tired
     that I could sure use your movements
          in place of my own.
I'm just so tired.
Please Lord, help me.
          In this moment, I just need a rest.

Do unto others....

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone can destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, there may be jealousy, be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.” - Mother Teresa

Spinning

You ever have everything you ever prayed for, and were suddenly freaked out that it was all going to fall? It's called placing all your treasures here on earth. And I am guilty as charged. I'm having a hard time trusting that God is taking care of everything, and I feel like I am about to fall into a giant hole. I feel scared for what I might lose due to my own shortcomings, and shame for those shortcomings. I feel the need to find something to hold onto for dear life, because everything is happening so fast: my job, my future, life. I'm afraid that if my mighty control snaps, everything will spin out of control. As if I am God. As if the world spins because I will it.

I should be elated. Everything is happening according to plan. But it's all happening so fast, too fast, and my doubts are overpowering my confidence. God is there. I know it. But I am having a hard time holding onto Him. Or rather, letting Him hold onto me....