My Vision, My Reality

Last night at Gina's house, we talked about Vision. And I loved how it tied in with the end of the year, as we got ready to start a new year, and essentially start over parts of ourselves that we might feel lacking.

Looking back, there has been so much change that has taken place in me. I look at my earliest entries to my entries now, and I see a whole morphing that took place. And I like it. I was so lost at the beginning of 2005. I hated myself, and I hurt. I felt like a shell of a person. Fast forwarding to today, I feel strong, (mostly) sure of myself, and I definitely like me. I'm less worried about how I might offend others (though it still has more of a hold on me than I'd like). I more apt to speak my mind than ever before, and by next year I'm sure all of you won't be able to shut me up!

My Vision for 2006 and beyond? Well let's not mention the 20 or so pounds I'll be losing.... But deeper than that, I strive to be a fearless Christian, not only in the world, but inside of Christianity too. I want to make a difference. I want to get my hands dirty and be a part of the driving force that makes people say, "I want some of that!" I want to inspire, and be inspired. Real people are Christians, we are not all perfect, but we can love the Lord as fiercely as anyone!!!

I want to hear the Lord. I want to devote a portion of every day to just listening to the Lord. I want to be better about my devotions, better about delving into His word. I want to hear loud and clear the plans He has for me, and what He wants me to do about it. I want to help those in need and share His word. I want to share the love that is rained upon me every moment of the day.

I want to take risks. I want to stop using words such as "can't" and "shouldn't" and "impossible" when it comes to the Lord calling me to certain missions. I want to go beyond my comfort zone and expand my soul.

I want to develop sisterhoods with some certain fabulous women in my life. I want the three of us, and more, to create an impact so big that it won't be easily forgotten. And this is a possibility!!!

God bless everyone into 2006 and beyond!

A child is born....

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”- Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas

Santa's Crib

Santa's Crib

Disneyland

Me, the kiddos, and my sister, Heather in front of the train at Disneyland.


My sister Melissa and me.


Me and the kids in front of the Christmas tree at the Sheraton in Anaheim.

Cliff's Notes version of trip...

First day at the park was Friday. There were lots of lines, but not nearly as crowded as the weekend would be. We had no idea! We went on all the big rides, and got some shopping out of the way. The kids went back to the hotel with my dad and grandma. My mom and I stayed at the park until closing. We had a blast! Without kids we were able to rush from ride to ride. The last ride was Space Mountain, which we waited an hour to go on for three thrilling minutes of roller coaster. And it was definitely worth it!

Day two, my sisters joined us. The kids had been pretty difficult the day before, but seemed to get the hang of things this day. We visited California Adventure this day, and went on California Screamin' twice. The kids and I took off later that night and went on the Rushing Rapids ride twice. We were soaking wet! Two hours later, we were still wet, and the kids were freezing. I ended up paying an arm and a leg for a new sweatshirt for each of them. But I figured, we're only there once, and in two weeks the money I spent will have made no impact, so why not? We watched the electric parade, the fireworks, and then we took the kids on Space Mountain. I was afraid that they'd be too scared, but they ended up loving that ride the best.

Day three....and we were pooped! We went on two rides only. We ate lunch there, and then did last minute shopping. We let the kids run wild at Tom Sawyer's island. We didn't leave until around 5 pm, and got home at 2 am. Oh, and did I mention it's a small world? We ran into an old friend the day before, and happened to see Natalie and Jeremy this day on the Matterhorn at the same time as us. Unfortunately, they didn't see us, and didn't have cell phones on them. Can't blame them, though, it looked like they were having a fabulous time together. Ahhh, newleyweds.....

I love Disneyland, and I hope to return again in the next couple of years. But my wallet and aching body are Disneylanded out!!!

Cheers!

Crissi, you've managed to make bad decision after bad decision, decided to be holy, than changed your mind, then changed it back, then changed it again, offended several members of your church, gained some holiday baggage in the form of your rear, questioned things you obviously cannot question, changed dramatically in the last year, made some really great friends, managed to not actually lose any friends despite your shortcomings, became comfortable in your own skin, learned how to look outside yourself, and almost completed a whole year of blogging. What are you going to do next?



I'm going to Disneyland! I'll be back Sunday night. See you all at Christmas!
Oh, and I made the editorial page in the Press Democrat today.

Dear Mr. Mayor....

Ok, I have a confession to make. I'm in love with the mayor of San Francisco. That's right. Gavin Newsom is H-O-T. I went to San Francisco yesterday as part of my birthday celebration, and he was speaking in the square on behalf of small businesses. I was standing to the right of the stage, and when he wasn't speaking, he was facing my direction. At one point he looked right at me, and I totally felt out of breath and I know my face got all red. Wow.

So Gavin, if you are reading this, I am single. I don't go to any of the A-list parties. I don't own a ballgown. I already have a couple children, oh, and I live with my parents. I'm known to pack on a few extra pounds during the holidays. I only loosely follow politics, but they tend to bore me if that's all we have to talk about. More often than not I'm broke. And I have an ex and a lot of baggage that can be less than fun to deal with.

But I can do crosswords with a pen, and I can unscramble words in seconds. I can shell out sarcasm with the best of them. I can make pancakes from scratch, and can bake a batch of cookies without once tasting the cookie dough (sometimes). I own lots of songs on my iPod, and I'll even let you listen sometimes. I sing in the car (but never in the shower, unless a song is stuck in my head), and sometimes I even sing in key using the right words. Oh, and I love San Francisco, so it's really convenient that this is the town you are mayor of.

So give it a chance, Mr. Newsom. Heck, maybe I'll even borrow my dad's car to meet you somewhere. See you soon!

-Crissi

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yup, that's right. I'm the big 2-8 today. This is my solicitation for birthday greetings, so bring them on!

Exaltation

Arise, be our help
Place my trust in your kindness
It's a must hoping in the God of deliverance
Since way back when before time began
Existing eternally, everlasting, rejoice in the name of his majesty so we sing
Exaltation, my God of salvation
The field and there in will be filled with jubilation
The Lord's name will be proclaimed
"Exaltation", Matisyahu

The Lord makes His voice known in mysterious ways. Randy and I are getting along really well right now, so much so that when I "dicovered" Matisyahu, I made him a CD of the songs I'd downloaded. Matisyahu is a Jewish reggae artist. If you were to see him, you would think he was a joke. He's tall, wears a big black hat, and a long black overcoat. And he's a WHITE reggae artist. He looks like reggae gone amish or something. You'd think he was a joke, that is, until you heard his songs. He sings songs so full of his love of God, and he's definitely spreading his message through his songs. On Live 105, they even play his "King Without a Crown" song. If you've never heard him, I really encourage you to look him up.

So anyway, my point, and yes I have one. I made this CD for Randy, and apparently he listens to it all the time. He works at a drug and rehab center, and a lot of times has to transport patients in his car to their homes after treatment is finished, or to other facilities. The other day, he had to transport this one female patient to another facility. She was Jewish, but really lacking the faith. When Randy heard she was Jewish, he told her about this CD I had made him, and told ehr about the guy singing it. He asked if she's like to listen. She unenthusiastically said, sure. Well, halfway through the CD, she was bawling, and confessing her desire to know God again. She is now reconciling with her husband, going back to being a mother, and working at staying clean.

And this was all from just making a CD with no thought put in it whatsoever. Amazing.

Don't look at me wrong....

I have been in the worst mood lately, and I really can't put my finger on it. Well, that's half true. I do know some of the reason, but I don't know why I can't shake it now that I've pretty much figured it out. I'm feeling ultra negative towards everything right now, really pessimistic and rageful, and it's like I just want to sulk here in my misery. My birthday is next week, and even that is putting me in a bad mood.